Finger Lake Wilderness Resort

Camping Tips

1)  Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open flame. 2)  When smoking a fish never inhale. 3)  A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.  A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes. 4)  Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.  Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. 5)  You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass. 6)  When camping, always wear a long-sleeve shirt.  It gives you something to wipe your nose on. 7)  You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your truck.

" DIVORCE "

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says,   "I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing.  Forty-five years of misery is enough!  I am sick of her, and I am sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her," and then hangs up. The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news. She calls her father and yells, "You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will will be there tomorrow.   Until then, do not do a single thing, do you hear me?" The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says, "It worked!  the kids are coming for a visit, and they are paying their own way!"